WHO THE FUCK WRITES ABOUT FEMINISM?

In response to: http://codymroczka.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/an-open-letter-to-all-the-shallow-girls-out-there-be-careful/ (A wonderful writer and friend)
Who responded to: http://elitedaily.com/women/open-letter-nice-guys-dont-stop-trying/

Dear Boy and Girl,
I’d like to rid you of stereotypes such as “nice” and “shallow” because those are characteristics that are determined with adolescence. Don’t get me wrong, when you choose to leave your adolescence, that is solely up to you.

So to the boy who is always “nice”, you will one day be an asshole in some woman or man’s eyes, I promise.
To the girl who is always “shallow”, you will one day be nice in a woman or man’s eyes as well, I promise.

Everyone misconstrues these persecutions in life because they hope for the wrong characteristics of the wrong people. A shallow guy may be shallow to you and nice to another girl and vise vera. It’s called a connection, not a lifestyle. Everyone in their adolescence and twenties are wondering why they can’t find the right men and women. It is because we are a liberated, sex-crazed generation. We need our fill on independence, most of us. You can’t find the right person because the right person is not ready to find you, there is too much opportunity to miss these days. 
So to the men who believe all girls want a bad boy and can’t believe how your niceness is going unseen; we are wondering why your niceness should automatically make you assume we would be available to you? As though you’re all we’ve been looking for. As though we don’t see what is in front of our faces. Perhaps, here’s a thought, maybe we just don’t want your kindness in a romantic way because maybe we just don’t want you. Perhaps you are only the shoulder to cry on, the late phone call for comfort, the laughs. Perhaps you are just the friendship.
And to the women who believe man is out to get you, I think our sex needs to look into a mirror. I say this with grace because I’ve lived with girls. I see the agony we go through if he says one wrong word through text, looks the wrong way or does the wrong gesture. Perhaps you are with the nice guy but society and insecurities have brought you to a boiling point of analyzing all male integrity. Perhaps you are with the asshole who I’m sorry, just don’t want you. You are not the girl he is changing for or choosing to be nice too. Men have the same option to reject us as much as we reject them.

We want to be equal and wonder why a guy won’t text us first, why a girl won’t just say how she feels, wondering why he isn’t texting you all day while he wonders why you’re waiting an hour to answer his text.
We can’t look needy.
We can’t look too interested.
We can’t look uninterested.
Seem unique.
Act adorable.
Act distance, but not so distant that they wouldn’t want you anymore.
Be funny.
Be bold.
Be truthful.
But not too truthful.
Be mysterious.
Be open.
Hope to be the change in him.
Hope to be the change in her.

We are a contradicting people who need to get their shit together.

We are all so caught up in the confusion of sexes, pinning words and jabs to one another that we fail to see we are one in the same, just because you don’t look into your pool of compatibility does not make you a Greater God. One would not be here without the other.

So, Dear Boy and Girl, you can be all the characteristics in the world, but you will be the right ones to the right people

The Movement of Nothing

I’m sorry this post will be a little somber for the spirit of Christmas, but that’s the way life works anyways.

So this weekend, I found out what moving on meant. Not only what it meant but also how it felt. I found out that everyone’s ‘go to’ phrase when you’re crying at a bar with two vodka redbulls in your hands is ‘it’ll be okay’. I get that but right now it isn’t, just move the cup up to my mouth, tell me to forget about it for a while, and tell the DJ to put on Adele so I can dance and cry at the same time.

After my fiasco with crying, vodka redbulls, and a long night of long talks, I went home and laid in my bed. Heels and all and cried more. There was crying everywhere and I blamed it on running into my ex’s friend. If that son of a bitch wasn’t nice, he could have left me alone and not talked about my ex for ten minutes while I chugged my drink and nodded my head. I woke up with a terrible headache, a horrible face, and a lot of shakings of my head while I whispered ‘what the fuck Sam’ to myself multiple times. Needless to say, I hope your Saturday was better than mine.

So what did I do after a night of crying? I went on all my social networks and did what everyone is guilty of doing. Something I haven’t done in weeks and decided in my fragile state THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CREEP someone who wasn’t in my life anymore. Girls can be idiots. Which leads me to my next point:
—–>>>>>I think social media has ruined the moving on process, truly. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as human beings is trying to stay updated with someone who isn’t in our life anymore. When we find something we don’t like, it hurts us, it reminds us that were broken and were probably making no progress at all. Yesterday, I found something because I was looking for it. It was my own fault. I questioned why I even do this to myself? Why do I look on his or her twitter or instagram to see what the new update is? I don’t care; I don’t want to know so what the hell am I doing? Am I looking for an excuse to bitch? Probably. I’m a great bitcher or bitch for that matter. I go looking for it, I find it, and then I’m upset. That doesn’t make any sense.  Well, I found something alright and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I ate a pizza in my room in the dark and my mom didn’t even question me. A hundred things ran through my head once I saw a new picture of my ex with his new girlfriend. But not one of them were positive. If you feel negative, you will only think of the negative, I’ve learned. My mom popped her head into my room and told me to come downstairs but all I wanted to do was sleep and think about getting drunk tomorrow. I hauled my ass out of my bed and my mom turned on the loudest Mexican music I’ve ever heard and started dancing. I had no idea what was even going on while she tried to do the washing machine from Selena. She grabbed my hands and made me dance with her and I laughed for a half hour straight. She never let me stop dancing and we never stopped laughing.

That is what moving on feels like. It stabs you in the heart so you can feel it all, but in moments, you’re laughing until you realize how sad you still are. Those moments are what I call physic moments. You’re seeing into the future. There will come a time where those moments will be your life and the sad thoughts will be replaced with some new sad thought or worry. I was happy until the dancing stopped and I was stuck in my room again. Then something else happened. I got a call from someone very important in my life lately who was scaring me all day saying we needed to talk. The cherry on top of the fucking ice cream. When he finally called, I sat on my mom’s bed with a lump in my throat. ‘I just wanted to say I miss you’ he said and repeated throughout our conversation. I was smiling again. I was pissed off but I was smiling. Here was someone who just made me happy for the rest of the day and I was so grateful for him to an extent he will never know. Within my day of sad realizations, there were always moments to remind me that I don’t live in the past and I’m living in this now where things are happening. Then I remembered… so is my ex. So are the people in my past, they are living in this now too.

Realizations…

Seeing the picture of my ex and his new girlfriend isn’t the end of my life. The negative thoughts I’m telling myself are entirely my fault. This morning my friend told me ‘I think the picture is a sign telling you that its okay to let go, that he’s going to be okay and that you are too.’  Yeah, within all my negative and sad thoughts, there was a positive one. Seeing things like that shouldn’t make us want to live in the past, it should make us realize that sometimes you’re better off letting go then reminiscing and here is your sign. If you go looking for it, you’re going to find it, bad news or good; and that goes for anything in life. Be careful with the access to unwanted or wanted knowledge. There is my rant, there is my beauty in letting go, thank you for living in my past moments, start living in your nows.

Make Lemons

I need to write now because its 6am and I’m sitting in my living room with my dad’s robe on, smoking a sober cigarette because I can. Quite a catch I am, huh? I didn’t want to write about this because I don’t like showing the vulnerable side of me but I promised to be true to all of you, so here I am, all of me.

It’s funny. When did we all become such cynical hard fucks? When did we start to put up our walls? Or have we’ve always had them there because of instinct? I don’t know but anyway… I think in one semester I’ve learned more than I have in a lifetime which surprises me how much we can learn in such a little time. Right now, I’m happy and sad at the same time. I’m happy with who’s in my life and I’m sad with who’s leaving it and with who’s recently left, I suppose.

No matter our walls, we all put our feelings on the line for the hope of feeling like we have no barriers within ourselves. It’s true. What’s sad is that I don’t think other people realize that. Sometimes it’s a one-way street… Just us hoping and the other person just living their life with no intentions. Other times you find someone who’s on the same road as you, that’s luck. I read a quote recently that said “Right person, right time, right place, pick two” that’s so fucking accurate right? Don’t mind me being a girl right now. I just think humanity has lost their intuition on believing we’re all going through something. By humanity, I guess my mind is referring to one person but you’re all thinking of that one person right now anyway.

I wish I could be that person who could easily tell someone I’m going to miss them; this generation has lost that strength. Everything is about technology and not saying what needs to be said. Where are the people who love conversation and saying what needs to be said?  We rely on alcohol to show our true selves and that’s so sad because life is too much of a mind fuck not to share it with someone else, friend or lover. EW, did I really just say lover? I’m a grandma stuck in this 21-year-old body. — I’m going to get to the point right now; I wish I had told someone all I needed to say much sooner before I let it eat me up and make me into this emotional thing. I wish I had told them that I cared and that I was going to miss them with every bone in my body and that I wanted to hold onto every moment with them before they left. This person thinks no one will miss them, but what they don’t realize is… everyone can always feel when someone leaves. I wish I could have told them that or made them realize that. “What I meant by that is; life is easy with you here… and when you’re gone, it will be hard again.” Rejection. Rejection held me back.

Maybe I was born in the wrong era because I don’t know when everyone got so scared to ‘talk’. My hope for everyone reading this is that you are the person who can be true to yourself. Say stupid things, important things, anything because you feel it. That’s living. We look back and regret the things we’ve never said and the things we’ve never done because of fear and rejection. Fear and rejection are just temporary things, they are just moment feelings. When you’re about to ride a roller coaster, you’re scared. That’s fear. When you’re riding it, you might still be scared but you’re having the time of your life because you did it, because even though you were scared, you went through with it. You learn in the end that you’re happy you did what you did. Life is not much different everybody. Not much different at all.

(I literally just stopped writing and went to subway for milk because my poor ass doesn’t have any milk and I really wanted hot chocolate. Subway does sell milk if anyone was wondering.)

In the end, I need everyone to know, no matter how ‘tough’ you are, you feel. Everyone fucking feels, everything. It’s never a one-way street even though it might seem that way most of the time. We are all actually lucky to not be alone, you just don’t see it that way. It’s okay to be sentimental fucks, alone or with someone who doesn’t care if you cry onto their lap while listening to Rascal Flatts, I swear that’s not a personal story….maybe it is, yeah I’ve done it. I hope what you can take away is not to be scared for a moment and just live in it with eyes closed. You will learn from anything you do, it will help. If you’re not going to take my advice, I suppose I’ll take my own. My hot chocolate is done, goodnight and good day everyone.

I Love You, Everything Burrito

I said I was going to be myself in this blog, so I will be. Many people have a tendency of losing things and I have a tendency of losing people, by force, or by choice, I lose them either way. I like to run away a lot. I once had a bad break up with a very insignificant person and flew to Mexico that night.  This summer I flew to England for a month to stall something that was bound to end. I run away. I’m not a girl who falls in love with one person forever, that’s what my friends are for. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m a wildflower and when someone tries to keep me, I will die. I’m a girl who is in love with the world and will run away from people just to be with it. Should I not find some pride in that? That I consume myself with the thought of leaving instead with the thought of loving and settling down. One day, someone will change that and until then I’m okay with where I have gone in life, alone.

I’m a girl who wears all black very regularly but not in the Goth way but in the ‘I wish I was fashionable’ way.

I guess this kinda portrays the Goth side but you’d be a damn liar if you didn’t relate

I’m on my fourth cup of coffee and it’s 1am. I don’t want kids because I read somewhere that once you have a kid your pet takes the back burner and that thought makes me really sad. Honestly, like how can that even be possible?

Exhibit fucking A

I’ve come to realize, I’m friends with hopeless romantics who are wildflowers as well. Girls who love to be swoon for a moment but would rather it just be for a moment than forever. My friends are independent creatures with too much love for drinking wine every night or online shopping or eating a lot. I pride myself on them. My friends and I are picky. You may call us bitches but so be it because some people may think we are. We gossip endlessly with my mom and sit outside of parties having one too many cigarettes, ranting about how we need to go somewhere with our lives. What I’m trying to say is, when did girls stop being picky? You meet so many new people in college and it makes me wonder how low people’s standards go. When did it become okay to settle? You’re young, settling and staying with someone you truly want to be with are two incredibly different concepts. <Someone told me that and I find it impossibly true. I’m picky: I like beards, a boy who can dress well, a boy who can make my stomach hurt from laughing, a boy who makes an hour on the phone feel like 10 minutes, a boy with funny taste in music and funnier taste in movies, a boy who wont judge me for ordering a pizza and Chinese food because I couldn’t decide, a boy who cooks me the world, a boy who will fight with me when a fight needs to be had, a boy who challenges me, a boy with flaws that I love, and it’s a bonus if he is left handed. That’s a weird characteristic, I know but I’ve told my mom I want to be married to someone left-handed because I’m so jealous of them.

Yes

I want girls or boys to know that it’s OKAY to be alone because I believe society has told us differently. Why are we so afraid to be alone with ourselves these days anyway? Are you scared of what you will find out if you listen to your thoughts or read something you wrote or realize a certain genre of music that makes you weak? What is so scary of the thought of learning who you are? Are you scared you will not like it or are you scared you will and then question why someone hasn’t learned to love it as much as you do yet? It is also OKAY to love something other than the concept of loving someone. Life has given you the opportunity to fall in love with foods, places, people, things, moments, and music. It’s okay to consume your thoughts with selfish loves of other things and make loving someone a bonus.

Notice I am smiling

I understand life can get lonely, but that’s what soul mates are for. Soul mates are around you everyday—they are the people that make your life worth living, the people that add meaning to your life and they come in different people and things. If you find one day that in your entire life, even for a split moment, that you are happy with yourself, embrace it. Swim in the feeling of it because as cliché as I may sound at this moment, happiness comes from anything in life that you see and you’ve finally let it in.

Thats my blog punching you with some knowledge, use it and own it.