In response to: http://codymroczka.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/an-open-letter-to-all-the-shallow-girls-out-there-be-careful/ (A wonderful writer and friend)
Who responded to: http://elitedaily.com/women/open-letter-nice-guys-dont-stop-trying/
Dear Boy and Girl,
I’d like to rid you of stereotypes such as “nice” and “shallow” because those are characteristics that are determined with adolescence. Don’t get me wrong, when you choose to leave your adolescence, that is solely up to you.
So to the boy who is always “nice”, you will one day be an asshole in some woman or man’s eyes, I promise.
To the girl who is always “shallow”, you will one day be nice in a woman or man’s eyes as well, I promise.
Everyone misconstrues these persecutions in life because they hope for the wrong characteristics of the wrong people. A shallow guy may be shallow to you and nice to another girl and vise vera. It’s called a connection, not a lifestyle. Everyone in their adolescence and twenties are wondering why they can’t find the right men and women. It is because we are a liberated, sex-crazed generation. We need our fill on independence, most of us. You can’t find the right person because the right person is not ready to find you, there is too much opportunity to miss these days.
So to the men who believe all girls want a bad boy and can’t believe how your niceness is going unseen; we are wondering why your niceness should automatically make you assume we would be available to you? As though you’re all we’ve been looking for. As though we don’t see what is in front of our faces. Perhaps, here’s a thought, maybe we just don’t want your kindness in a romantic way because maybe we just don’t want you. Perhaps you are only the shoulder to cry on, the late phone call for comfort, the laughs. Perhaps you are just the friendship.
And to the women who believe man is out to get you, I think our sex needs to look into a mirror. I say this with grace because I’ve lived with girls. I see the agony we go through if he says one wrong word through text, looks the wrong way or does the wrong gesture. Perhaps you are with the nice guy but society and insecurities have brought you to a boiling point of analyzing all male integrity. Perhaps you are with the asshole who I’m sorry, just don’t want you. You are not the girl he is changing for or choosing to be nice too. Men have the same option to reject us as much as we reject them.
We want to be equal and wonder why a guy won’t text us first, why a girl won’t just say how she feels, wondering why he isn’t texting you all day while he wonders why you’re waiting an hour to answer his text.
We can’t look needy.
We can’t look too interested.
We can’t look uninterested.
Act distance, but not so distant that they wouldn’t want you anymore.
But not too truthful.
Hope to be the change in him.
Hope to be the change in her.
We are a contradicting people who need to get their shit together.
We are all so caught up in the confusion of sexes, pinning words and jabs to one another that we fail to see we are one in the same, just because you don’t look into your pool of compatibility does not make you a Greater God. One would not be here without the other.
So, Dear Boy and Girl, you can be all the characteristics in the world, but you will be the right ones to the right people